Get real

Be absolutely honest with yourself.

I found this really difficult, it took me a few weeks to get to grips with this. We have all done it, that biscuit doesn't count because I was still in the kitchen when I ate it, it says a teaspoon of cream but I am sure that large blob is about right, there are no calories in ice cream if you are stressed etc etc etc

A portion should be the amount you eat not the amount you put on the plate minus all the tasters you have had.

It is also a process of recognising when you grab food without thinking.

There was a mammoth list of these for me, I doubt this is an exhaustive list but these are the ones I remember :

If there is food left out on the kitchen counter

Chocolates or cakes in the office

If I am stressed

Breaking my working day up

Boredom snacks

Food as a reward

Out and about

If you can come up with a list you can make sure there is something there that will be within your diet and keep you on track.

I have alpen 70 calorie bars in my handbag at all times. I love party rings or fruit shortcake biscuits for when I just need a coffee break. My current reward/stressed out naughtiness is a flake. If you get them in the multipacks they are slightly smaller and so only 135 calories.

I had tried to lose weight before but what really helped me this time was the fact my other half did it too. It meant that we had a joint will power and also a healthy sprinkling of competitiveness.

If you can't persuade your family to join you don't get too disheartened, just be honest with them too. State what you need from them, ask them to help you with your willpower without criticising you, ask them to congratulate you when you do well and not push you too much. It needs to be something you do at your own pace.

As for meals, they can easily be adapted so they suit both dieters and non-dieters without the need for separate meals. For my favourite curry I would serve it with green beans for me and for a non dieter they can have rice and/or naan.

If you have a non-dieter in the house then it means you can't clear all the high calorie foods out completely so make sure you separate them. Have a cupboard just for your go to stuff.

The reality check also needs to be done when you start thinking about targets. My advice is not to have a set weight in mind. If I had set a target and finished there I wouldn't have lost 5 and a half stone, I would have stopped after about 4. One of the preconceptions that I had was what weight looked like. I have always been big, I was a size 16 at 16 years old and only got bigger. I had an ideal weight in mind but when I got there it didn't look like the image I had in mind. I will cover the transitions in body image I have been through in a later posting but for now I will just say set yourself an aim that you can achieve, that you can see and that can keep being changed.

My aim was and still is to look and feel healthy. There are a whole heap of little aims within this. My first big milestone was to no longer be classed as obese on my bmi app. Now I have a whole list of issue with BMI as a measurement having worked with rugby players and ballerinas, I have seen how ridiculous it is. However it is a label that has effected my medical care and how I am seen as a person and so it was a label I wanted to obliterate and it felt amazing to pass that milestone.

Other aims have been to get back into a size 16, not a bad feeling to know you are as slim as you were when you were 16 when you are knocking on for 40. To wear skinny jeans without feeling like I am breaking some trade descriptions laws, to be able to sit comfortably with my knees up to my chest and pick clothes for what they show rather than what they hide.

People keep asking me how much more I want to lose, my only answer is that I hope I will know when I get there. I am not quite there yet but I am also relaxed about when I get there, which in itself feels like a goal achieved.

Getting started - Pre diet week

My biggest tip for weight loss has to be 'get informed'.
I thoroughly recommend spending a pre-diet week just finding out how many calories you are eating.
It will shock you, we all have preconceptions about what is healthy and what isn't, but we are also really good at lying to ourselves.
The one that really shocked me was Pringles. I very much doubt I am alone when I say I could very easily eat an entire tube of Pringles to myself in a sitting. Sometimes even with dips. To put this into context, when I looked up the calories I had just decided to go with the Hairy Dieters book advice of sticking to 1500 calories a day (as I am a woman). A tube of Pringles is close to 1000 calories!!! Two thirds of my daily calories intake in between meals.... Yikes
Even the things I classed as me being healthy shocked me. One of my go to lunches was houmous, raw veg and a couple of pitta, a nice light lunch but comes out at nearly 700 calories.
There were also shocks the other way round too. I thought my beloved black pudding was going to have to be a no go area whilst I lost weight but it has less than 3% fat and a slice is 70 calories.
Please don't believe the hype and read labels carefully. Just because it says low fat doesn't mean it is low in calories and definitely doesn't mean it is good for you. I have found chilled soup in the normal range with less calories than those labelled as low calorie, two lots of falafel from the same brand where one was twice the calories of the other and so many biscuits that are far less calories that diet ranges.
It may sound really boring but you get into it, just keep reading those labels and keep yourself informed.
Make the vast majority of stuff from scratch and you will be able to have great meals that don't make you feel like you are on a diet and it means that the diet doesn't have to shrink your wallet too.
I love the hairy dieters books, their curries are amazing. In fact that has just reminded me of a conversation with a fab bridal shop, I pointed out I could have two portions of my favorite chicken jalfrezi for the same calories as a creamy cooler from Costa. Curry every time for me.
Hit your local library (if you still have one) and flick through their cookbooks. You just need to find one with calories listed. There aren't many so don't buy a book until you know it does and you will use it. Good Housekeeping ones do and so do some Jamie Oliver ones.
Use sticky notes to bookmark the ones you know you will use week in week out and be realistic. If you only have time for a ten minute prep type dish then find dishes that fit with that, don't pick ones that you will never have time to use.
There is another good reason for having a pre-diet week. It gives you chance to get rid of the things that will tempt you in the weeks to come. We gave away a load of tins, packets and freezer food, which felt really wasteful but really helped us in the first few months.
If you can't face doing this or can't afford to do it, then make your pre-diet week longer.

Why am I writing this?

So what I have lost 5 and a half stone?
Well it seems that it has become bigger than shedding pounds. It has been life changing in so many ways, lots of positive ways but some surprising and some even difficult.
The singularly most frequent question I am now asked is 'how did you do it?' And when I reply I can guarantee that the person asking will always look disappointed when I say how I did it. Everyone is looking for the miracle quick fix but there isn't one. If you really want to lose weight it is just common sense, it just boils down to put less in your mouth and do more. Simple.
So I have finally decided to write some of my experiences down. This isn't a diet to follow or an exercise plan, just a collection of thoughts, experiences and tips. Hopefully it will strike a chord with a few of you and support your weight loss or show that what you are feeling is normal. Even if it is just interesting, I think it will have done me some good to write it.
So here goes
Niki